sombre velleity

''Ex umbris lux sapientiae floret''

Latest work

Released on my 24th birthday after 6 years of work, doubt, and hell
Prelude is my most important work yet.About loss, dust, and memory, join this infernal dance of dynamics bathed in sacred sounds in this very same page.

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All my important releases are available almost everywhere
(except SoundCloud, I think)So, if you've got a preffered site you'll find my catalogue there, so what's your excuse now?Let yourself drown in the notes, I know you'll like it!

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Psalms of Ash

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Of Dust and Thought:

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Prelude

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A lullaby darkness sang to itself

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Orante time, from the dark

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Read the texts accompanying Prelude at the bottom of the home page.Playback will continue uninterrupted

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Note, not all texts are available, yetNote 2, in my Youtube Channel you'll find videos for the pieces

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Entangled to the Notes

Atardecer

Yo... No recuerdo cuánto tiempo estuve ahí
O cuánto de mí quedó sepultado
Sólo sé que, al abrir los ojos, el cielo ardía en cobre
Y el mundo ya no dolía igual...Y lo ví bajando
Digno, sin pesar
Con la gravedad como su sierva
Como si nada en él dolieraMe senté con el corazón vencido
Con la mente abierta en llagas
Mirando a una luz que jamás padecióQuise imitar su silencio
Quise aprender su gracia
Que mis sombras dejaran de gritar
Pero la quietud no se heredaQuién como el sol
Que arde sin memoria
Que muere cada tarde sin pena
Que se esconde sin vergüenza, y vuelve sin culpaYo, en cambio
Me hundo sin desaparecer
Mis cargas no se deshacen al final del día
Mi cuerpo no se apaga, más bien pesa
Sentí con horror, mi alma fue quebrada bajo el mundo
Ahora contemplo lo fugaz de lo eterno... y le tengo envidiaY mientras las flores se cierran
Mientras la tierra se cubre de oro marchito
Yo deseo dejar de ser sin tener que morirEl cielo no escucha
Pero el atardecer comprende
Y en su calma indiferente
Hoy decido dejar de luchar

Entangled to the Notes

Sessile

...shades...?...was it a dream? its memory slipped away then...I felt a breeze,
and realized I was in a flower field
green, blue, red, violet and white stretched below me
trees stood as tall as cathedrals
and there was the sound of waves crashing against a distant shore
or was it only the leaves and branches dancing with the wind?
birdsong filled the air, light and clear
...
but...
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it somehow reminded me of a weight in my chest
yet, I couldn't tell if it had ever really been there............a figure emerged on a distant hill
dressed in darkness, holding something smaller
I couldn't place exactly what felt familiar about them
but I felt a need to approach
and so I walked...
and sensing it farther away...
... I ran
and ran
until I fell
And soon as I hit the grass...I opened my eyes
the dust welcomed me back
the openness collapsed into the weight of these walls
heavy, breathless, unmoving
I realized what
I remembered who
my heart shattered
and there, in the bedI laughed
laughed
and laughed
and laughed
my eyes closed without meaning to
I couldn't see I forgot you
I tried to open them again
yet the wails wouldn't let memy throat burned
my chest pressed
my eyes welled
and my hands trembled
but I laughed
and laughed
and cried
but I laughedI could not moveyet I laughed
laughed
and laughed
and wept
but I...
laughedand then I couldn't laugh anymorethe water that burned below my eyes...
was it there because of how absurd it was?
or from how much it hurt?
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Entangled to the Notes

Preludio

Y entonces, volví a mirar al abismo
De entre sus ruidos, descifré su cantar
A sus llantos, les di forma
Entre mis dedos sostuve su melodía
Y prestándole mi voz, la cantéPero ni el más alto significado
Pudo secar mis lágrimas
O darle una razón al dolorAsí, la caída me sedujo...

Entangled to the Notes

Into the Abyss

I. Ghosts Scream

At last I will know the meaning of my nightmares
I smoked my dreams away
They slowly took my life
She said my name again
Was it all in my head?
I can't remember whose voice that was
It keeps calling my name
My suffering did not pale
If I had waited a bit longer
My heart still aches
If I had waited a bit longer
What could have I done anyway?
I thought about it
I was born a ghost anyway
I'm so tired
I tried
Didn't have a choice, did I?
I lost it all before... this
Didn't have a choice, did I?
Maybe I am
I... was? too blind
I don't believe in God
But I saw them
I don't know if I believe in God
I too, am a ghost
Would he turn against me for not staying in this place of death?
Am I afraid of hell more than I'm afraid of staying?
Am I afraid of hell more than I'm afraid of staying?
Am I afraid of hell enough to decide to stay?
Maybe this is not about fear
I can sense
This is as profound as the abyss
This is the end
May it
May he
Have...

II. Ghosts Weep

... Mercy

III. Ghosts Sing

Sanctus sine devotione
Tempus transiet
Tu calix pro omnibus tristitae humanae
Humanae

Of Dust and Thought

Testament of Humanity

The sky...
Vast, silent, stretched beyond my understanding
An ocean of darkness dotted with ancient lights....
I gazed at the stars, those incandescent particles that had been born long before we could even conceive of time, and felt the overwhelming weight of human smallness.We had achieved the unthinkable, to pluck a language from the very fabric of existence to have a conversation with the eternal, to address the unfathomable, that which does not answer.
We showed our works to the void, and gave it directions to find us. In our daring, we discovered the secret dances of the cosmos, the laws that held galaxies and atoms together in a balance as fragile as it was beautiful.
We were conscious dust that talked to the stars, that discovered universal patterns, structures that repeated themselves from the intergalactic webs to the veins that carried our lives.
We understood gravity, dreamt of interstellar travel, and moulded light itself to show the mysteries of the small. We plotted equations to understand spacetime, to explore what we had only glimpsed in dreams. We set out from home, not as an act of survival, but as a statement of purpose, an affirmation that we could transcend the earthly.But even with all that breakthrough, that blaze of greatness that briefly tore through the cosmic darkness, we could not run from our own shadows. Our ambition, our insatiable curiosity, shared space with our tribalism, with that primal brutality that bound us to the dirt, to our wars, to our selfishness.For every bridge we built to the stars, we erected a thousand walls between us.
For every truth we torn from the cosmos, we buried in oblivion the truths of our humanity.I lowered my gaze, and looked at the lights of this city, blurred, flickering, lights that imitated, with difficulty, the celestial grandeur, merging with the smoke that ascended in spirals towards an indifferent sky. They were a reflection of what we had been, of a dream that turned to ashes.
The very minds that were beginning to discover the secrets of existence got drunk on ignorance, in tribal disputes that reduced our existence to a spectacle of suffering and despair.I realized what we were, little lights trying to pierce an eternal void. And yet, in that realization, we let our ego destroy us.
The mechanism that allowed us to overcome our fear and become conscious also led us to mutilate ourselves, to extinguish the dim fire we had lit, the one that instead of consuming, allowed us to see into the darkness.In our quest for greatness, we confused art with ambition and knowledge with superiority. We produced minds that could sustain universes in a breath, and others that reduced civilizations to ashes.
And collectively, we closed our eyes, for to face the reflection of our essence would have meant another war against ourselves.The thirst for power, the desire to control the other, was our most persistent inheritance, engraved in every corner of history. Power was not a means but an end, not a tool but a food. We controlled others not out of necessity, but because in that domination we found a mirage of eternity, a comforting lie that hid our emptiness.
And so we perpetuated a cycle, celebrated geniuses without questioning the wounds that spawned them, and feared monsters without admitting that we nurtured them. Each new bit of creativity or cruelty was a reminder of our dual nature, that there is no light that does not cast a shadow.There is no hatred in my observation, only a deep sadness. I have come to understand that our civilization, like any star, was destined to fade.We were beings who dreamed of the stars, who tried to understand the dance of atoms and the confines of the universe. But we were also our own executioners, doomed by our darkness.In our brief moment in the vast cosmic theatre, we were, for an instant, conscious. And that, perhaps, is all that matters.

Of Dust and Thought

Agaisnt white noise